Are you single again? Getting back into the dating scene after being away from it for a while can be tough. Tougher yet if you have kids involved. A few years ago some friends of our’s went through a divorce. Over time Kelly started to express her loneliness and how she was considering getting back into the dating scene. But, her concerns were always the same “Where do I start” or “How can I find a good man when I’ve got two kids in tow?” Yep, it’s harder to date when you have kids. With working all day, taking the kids to one event or the other. Spending the weekends with homework, housecleaning and grocery shopping, where’s the time? Plus, what about the cost, babysitters, dinners out, the whole idea can be quite overwhelming. That’s when I suggested “Online Dating”.

As outlined in my book “the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook” It’s easy to do, and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. As a matter of fact you can get started meeting new people for No Cost at all. And here’s the best thing. Once you’ve got the kiddies all tucked away in dream land you can head for your computer and have some Mommy (or Daddy) time. From the comfort of your own home you can get to know people. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite white wine, put on some soft music, and chat up a storm. You’ll find many, many new dating prospects without even leaving the house. Once you create your personal ad, and start responding to other ads your social life will be enhanced almost overnight! So guess what? She decided to give it a try. And, after chatting for just a short period of time she decided there were a couple of gentlemen who seemed “worthy” of her time and money. As she would have to pay the neighborhood babysitter for the evening.

All through her online experience she was careful to play it safe and keep her anonymity guarded. But, what about now? What happens now? Well, you still want to protect your anonymity. You must remember that giving out your personal information to someone you still don’t really know not only gives them access to you, but to your children as well. And, of course as parents we all want to be protective of our kids. So, Don’t Give It Out! Not until you’ve met this person a few times offline, and you feel comfortable with him. There is no point giving someone all your personal information and after the first face to face met you feel this person is not for you. And yes, this does happen. Sometimes those we met face to face may not be quite the same as when we conversed online and therefore you may decide he is not for you. Simply arrange for a place and time to meet and take your own transportation there and back home. Never let your date pick you up at home, and always tell someone where you are going, who you are with and when they should expect you home. Listen to your intuition! Your gut feeling is always right, and you’ll know when the time is right to give out more personal information. Also, an other great tool is doing a background check. This will tell you of any criminal or marriage records.

If you do find someone special enough to spend time with. Someone who can love your children too - Yes, you are part of a package deal remember. You and your kids. Start slowly having your children spend time with the two of you together. Any action you take is going to affect their lives as well. So they’ll need to be happy with your new friend also. You’ll need to be up front with them, on a level they can understand for their age group. Just listen to your heart, you’ll know when it’s the right time to introduce your friend to your kids.

Don’t spend time with anyone who can’t love your children too. As I said earlier you are part of a package deal. For any long-term relationship or even marriage it’s you and your kids.

Good Luck,
Marie Clare

Marie Clare specializes in writing about Dating, Relationships and Romance. Check out her lastest Best Selling eBook “the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook” plus reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites, FREE Articles, Tips and Advice at http://www.lifematesnow.com

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So you’ve just joined an online dating site. You hurriedly, and half-heartedly fill out a profile with no picture, and then wait to be contacted. Several weeks go by, nothing. Now you are beginning to feel discouraged.

Maybe people aren’t as desperate as you first thought. You return to the site to do some browsing, you pick out a few profiles, and contact the people. Still nothing after a few more weeks. You are now tempted to contact the same people over and over again, thinking they didn’t get your message the first time. But the fact is, they did, and repeated contacts is not advisable, as it’d portray you as desperate, controlling, or worse a stalker.

Here are some things you may be doing wrong that are preventing you from getting a response.

The people you are contacting do not know you. Your profile is the only thing they have to go by in evaluating your worth. Furthermore, these people have hundreds of other profiles to browse. If your profile is not up to par, they’d quickly move to the next.

Does your profile include a photo? Does it include relevant information to help people know you? Does your profile demonstrate your seriousness of purpose in finding someone? Is the language in your description demeaning?

Compare your dating profile to a job resume. You wouldn’t put out a lackluster resume and expect to be taken seriously by any employer would you? In that regard, liken your online dating experience to a job search and therefore make your profile as attractive as possible.

A personal ads web site, http://www.oasisoflove.com keeps track of your past behavior on the site, and your record acts as a barometer for measuring how you are likely to act in future. The site keeps a record of how you’ve been responding to messages sent to you, and how quickly?

The bottomline is, if you are failing at attracting responses on a dating site, the problem may be you. Revamp your image (profile), add a photo, reply to messages sent to you, and promptly. Be proactive and contact as many users as you can. www.oasisoflove.com is a free site, so there is nothing limiting your ability to contact many users.

Richard Akindele is the Founder of http://www.oasisoflove.com, a full-featured, and FREE online dating site.

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Although Christina had been chatting online and via telephone with Justin for six months, and felt that she was falling in love with him, something about their last conversation just did not seem right. Finally, after all these months, they were making plans to meet in person, and she had been so excited. She had been planning to drive eight hours on Friday after work to see him in his hometown, be introduced to his friends, and get to know him in person. Today, however, when she suggested they meet in a local coffee-house or restaurant for the first time, he had hesitated, then refused. He said he would feel more comfortable if they met in private, at his apartment or a local wooded park. Christina felt uncomfortable, and wondered if she should go through with it or not. Warning signs seemed to flash in her mind.

Unfortunately, although most guys/girls you will meet in an online dating situation are normal, honest people, there are the few that are not. Online dating is a wonderful way to connect, and has a terrific success rate. However, there are still many important safety rules to follow. Here are three of the most important ones:

1. Get to know someone via the dating site’s online messaging system before you give out personal information. Be very careful about just giving out personal information (name, address, phone numbers) without knowing who you are really talking to.

2. Before meeting your potential date in person, ask for references from his/her pastor, minister, job supervisor, friends, etc. Try to speak to these people in person. Make sure the person you are talking to is really who she/he say they are.

3. Never meet in private for the first meeting. Always notify friends or family of where you will be meeting and pick a public place. Even after the first date, it is a good idea to at least let one other good friend or family member know where you will be.

There are lots of other safety tips on dating websites such as http://www.christian-online-dating-guide.com Read up on internet dating safety, and don’t put yourself at risk. Date safe.

Rebekah is a relationship expert who loves to help people find lasting love online. She helps manage the popular website http://www.christian-online-dating-guide.com

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