I don’t know what you’ve been told about internet dating, but it’s not always as easy as 1,2,3. If you’ve searched around or thought about it much then you’re probably aware of the upsides. Ultimately, there’s no better, faster way to sort through and find potential mates that fit the “profile.”

You can take your search much further than you normally could offline. And if know yourself, what you want, and what to look for, you can get great results. This is the stuff advertisements are made of. But with these advantages usually come certain challenges that you’ll need to work through.

By the way, if you don’t know yourself well and what it is you want, that’s fine. Have fun with it and learn. Just don’t expect to meet your match right away. You can use the internet to help you discover these things.

What you can’t do is use internet dating to smooth out all of your rough spots and work some kind of magic for you. This will not be fruitful. Because sooner or later, it all comes down to the weakest link.

As an example, some people who live in areas of low population will get online expecting this to fix that problem for them. They end up blaming the service when they don’t find a lot people from their area online. They were hoping for something that the online world can’t necessarily help them with.

So it may not provide the automatic solution you were hoping for. The question is, what does it allow you to do that you couldn’t easily do before? How can this make up for the original problem? It’s a negotiation. Sometimes you have to give a little before you can take, or in this case, before you can benefit from this new situation called internet dating.

You have to ask yourself, how important is this? In this example, would it be important enough to drive a little further or arrange to meet halfway? Because this is an option that wasn’t easily available before. If not, then there must be other things that are more important. What are they?

Others become cynical and quit when their dates don’t represent themselves accurately or honestly online. It can happen to anyone. It will probably happen to you. But it seems to happen a lot more to some people. There are probably two things going on there. One is akin to the inadvertant but habitual seeking out of abusive relationships. Here, the person is presented with signs of problems to come, but consitently overlooks them. Often the people around them can see something that they can’t.

Or it could be just a simple matter of learning from your mistakes. You don’t get to use your intuition the same way as you would in real life, so you have to develop methods that will make up for this. What I don’t hear about in these cases is any attempt to prevent this by changing the way they do things. This usually explains why they’re getting the same results.

It presents a challenge, but again, how could you turn this around by using the new abilities that internet dating gives you? One way is to be more direct with people in the future. This is easier for most people to do online, and as a result more common.

So learn how to take full advantage of this benefit. It may take some time. But it’s hard to give internet dating a fair chance until you do. What could you learn if you could ask people the kinds of questions that can take weeks, months, even years to get answered otherwise? Remember I said that internet dating can be the fastest way to sort through people?

Here’s the most common challenge of all… getting a decent response to your profile or emails. Profiles in general is a subject that’s too big to get into here, so let me restrict this to email. The vast majority of this involves men. There are approximately 4 times as many men doing this than women. Add that to the fact that men initiate far more than women and you can start to see where response might be a problem.

There are many upsides that can compensate for this. A common one is that men can spare themselves the indimidation factor in approaching women. And if they play their cards right, internet dating can be a real confidence builder. Chatting with women online is a skill that’s not just useful for getting dates online. It carries over to offline situations as well. But I digress…

To this problem, the basic answer is the same. That is, you have to change what you’re doing to get different results. But that’s a little to vague in this case. The problem is that women continue to see the same kinds of emails coming a lot of different men. For the more attractive ones, it’s out of control.

Under these conditions, you have to do something fundamentally different in your approach to stand out… and standing out is the only way to get fair consideration. Just refining your current approach isn’t going to be enough if your current approach isn’t working.

Take a lesson from nature - evolution had the same idea when it gave male peacocks their colorful tails. What you do differently depends partly on you, because it’s mostly just a matter of you being secure in your uniqueness.

But until you are, and until you’ve developed your unique style around that, there are some things that you have to understand. Things that most guys who aren’t naturals don’t know. Once you do, your results will improve dramatically, reinforcing your authentic character instead of calling it into question.

That’s as much detail as I can go into in this article, but I’ll leave you with this… If you want to make internet dating work for you, learn about what you have available to you, use it, experiment with it, get creative, and try new things.

At the same time, you have to be aware of what’s going on in your head. In other words, what are you telling yourself? Become aware of thought patterns that are working against you. If you catch them, stop them immediately and replace them with ones that serve you better.

It’s not so much what’s online or what’s offline that will determine your results. It’s what’s in your head.

Laurence Baker is the founder of http://www.about-internet-dating.com, a site dedicated to providing honest information about the internet dating world including service reviews, tips, and specific, practical advice that’s hard to find elsewhere.

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Are you in love with love?

How long does it take for you to fall in love? A recent research study suggested that we could fall in love in 8 minutes. Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, says, “I think that you can fall in love with somebody in much less than 8 minutes of conversation but 8 minutes will do. I think we are an animal that was built for love at first sight.”

How often do you fall in love? Some personality types adore the “new love chemistry high” and they fall in and out of love with abandon. Are you enamored (addicted?) with the experience? Since we are not perfect creatures we were given a chemical to mask our new love interest’s faults. Researcher, Dr. Robert Friar, assures us this is true, “Falling in love involves Phenylethylamine or PEA, which causes a person to be less likely to be aware of the faults of the other person.” Ask yourself, would you fall in love with someone who throws his underwear on the floor if you were not highly inebriated by amour? Serotonin and dopamine, two mood neurochemicals create much of the decidedly pleasurable love intoxication that overwhelms us. Do people who fall in love rapidly and habitually have more of the “love” neurochemicals? We really don’t know.

Falling in love is one of the most spectacular and utterly magnificent experiences that can befall a mere human. The symptoms are similar to some psychological disorders. One study indicated that subjects who had recently fallen in love had more in common (chemically) with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder subjects with than with normal subjects. Thus, our world is turned upside down and we are perfectly happy not knowing what we are doing, where we are, or even who we are. Other people cease to exist as far as Romeo and Juliet are concerned. We walk around with the silliest grin on our facescompletely unaware it is there. Schoolwork suffers, careers suffer, and we couldn’t care less. Life is good, the world is filled with bliss and we are in LOVE And yet, with all of the psychotic symptoms and inconveniences we would not trade that fabulously enthralling condition for anything in our solar system. Are you in love with love?

Do you fall easily? Let’s find out

Take the test

1. Have you been in love 10 or more times? Yes__ No__

When you have a new person in your life which of the following applies to you?

2. Want to spend all of your time with him or her? Yes__ No__

3. Feel maddeningly restless? Yes__ No__

4. Think about her all of the time? Yes__ No__

5. All of your emotions intensify? (i.e., angrier, happier, hurt more deeply). Yes__ No__

6. Foods, even your favorites (like chocolate chip cookies), lose all appeal? Yes__ No__

7. Members of the opposite sex no longer interest you, no matter how gorgeous (i.e., Harrison Ford in the Indy series)? Yes__ No__

8. Pursuits that once were fascinating are, yawn just not important? Yes__ No__

9. Your idea of a good time is lying on your bed day dreaming about your sweet thing? Yes__ No__

10. You go from the heights of ecstasy to the depths of despair in 2.4 seconds. Yes__ No__

11. Do you feel as if you have walked into a “pea soup” fog and can’t find your way out and (even worse) you don’t care? Yes__ No__

12. Do you frequently answer questions with, “What did you say?” Yes__ No__
13. You would rather have a phone call or e-mail from your lover than from the President of the United States? Yes__ No__

14. You spend great chunks of your time listening to Elvis Pressley sing “The Wonder of You?” (or Peter Cetera, “Have You Ever Been in Love”) Yes__ No__

15. Do you begin to feel the stirrings of love in less than two weeks? Yes___ No___

Scoringgive yourself one point for each yes answer.

1 - 5 Score:

There is definitely something extraordinary going on in your life. However, it could be the flu. If it is not the flu, and you have met an interesting new person, this may be the first stage. I don’t know if I feel sympathy or envy oh yes, I do Go back to the first question, how often has this happened to you? Your answer to that question is the key. If it has happened 16 times, then, yes, you fall in love easily. Also, look at your answer to question 15. Answers to the other questions simply tell you the severity (your symptoms are in the low range) of your symptoms.

“No sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked than they loved than they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy.” ~Shakespeare

Scores 6 - 10:

You have definitely been bitten. You are in mid stage and just beginning to really annoy the people around you. Fasten your seat belt stage three is comingAs in the previous category how often has this happened to you and how quickly. Your severity of symptoms (perhaps, neurochemicals) is moderate. You may want to ask yourself, “How long do I stay in love?” It is possible to experience the chemistry and lose the true spirit of love. True love is long term; it provides a safe port in an often-chaotic world.

“It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all. ” ~ William Thackeray

Scores 11 or over:

Absolutely, when you have it, you have it bad. If love were measured as a temperature you are at 105 degrees. However, there is a positive consideration; you are so overwhelmed by the magnificence of love that you don’t notice the symptoms. If you have been “ill” with love numerous times, you are extraordinarily talented at love at first sight. I salute you! One question, how will you know when the “right” one comes along? Perhaps you should consider slowing down. Take the time to understand each person, in depth that will take many months. I will admit, the leisurely strategy lacks the electric shock effect to which you are accustomed. Nonetheless, you won’t weep later because the “one” slipped by while you were looking in another direction.

“It is impossible to repent of love. The sin of love does not exist.” ~ Muriel Spark

This test was taken from Dr. Dorothy McCoy’s book, The Ultimate Book of Personlity Tests (Champion Press, 2005). It was a finalist in the USA Books psychology books for 2005.

About the Author
Dr. Dorothy McCoy, Columbia, SC USA
http://www.police-stress.com
Learn more about love, personality, test, love test,
Dr.McCoy is an author, psychotherapist and police consultant. Two of her books (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests and From Shyness to Social Butterfly)have been published and three other books will be released in the next few months. She can be reached at drmccoy86@aol.com

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Listen up guys, I just can’t stress to you enough how important it is to keep your car clean.

Single women will judge you on how well your car looks on the inside and out. If your car is messy, dirty, and smells bad, it’s going to make a bad impression on women. And…guess what happens when you make a bad impression? She will be less likely to be attracted to you and when this happens, my friend, it can severely decrease your chance to score with her.

For you guys that use your car for your occupation, I know you’re going to have files, papers, brochures, sales aids, etc. scattered throughout your car. The best thing to do to correct this messy problem is to go out and buy some plastic baskets, containers, and organizers and organize all your things neatly and if possible carry them in your trunk, out of site.

There’s another negative aspect of having a messy car. This is going to send a message to women that you are a slob and a disorganized person. Plus, she may think that you don’t even think that she’s important enough to you to make a good impression on her. And trust me, this makes her not want to date you again.

Be sure and follow these guidelines for a car that makes a favorable impression on single women before picking her up for a date:

• Wash your car or run it through a car wash.
• Vacuum the inside and wipe the dashboard and all exposed areas.
• Spray your car with air-freshener (this is really critical if you smoke).
• Always keep a fresh air-freshener hanging in your car (you can buy them at auto parts stores).
• Be sure and empty your ash tray.
• Have a wide variety of tapes or CD’s to play (be sure and ask her what she’d like to hear).
• Make sure your car is in good running condition. Nothing is more embarrassing than your car breaking down while on a date.
• Make sure your glove compartment is clean, neat, and organized and be sure and not store your condoms here.
• Remove the big fuzzy dice hanging from your rear view mirror (this is really tacky).
• Keep a hairbrush and comb in your glove compartment to comb your hair before picking her up at the door or meeting her somewhere. You want to look your best and not show up with your hair all out of place.

Ok, guys, now promise me you will now go out to your car and look it over to see what you need to improve it to attract single women and make a good impression on them

This article written by Don Diebel (Americas #1 Singles
Expert). If you would like more free dating tips on how to
successfully meet, date, attract, and become intimate with
women, please visit his website at: http://www.getgirls.com.

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