It may be exciting, the thought of going from anonymous emails to getting an actual date. Let’s see how it works, from initial attraction to a face to face date. First it’s important to take your time. Starting from looking at their picture, to exchanging “send a smile” and emails — it takes time to build trust, and get to a first real date. What to do? Here’s how to start:

• Meet your date online
• Edit your profile to have more fun
• Chat with your favorites
• Email others

Five practical tips to going from emails to a live date:

Talk on the phone first. Ok, the other person’s picture looks fine - so let’s take some time getting to know the other person on the phone. It may be that they look great, send nice emails, but are hard to understand, or sound like “something’s not right.” Pay attention to your instincts. Talk to them on the phone, at least a few times, before agreeing to meet them in person, in a very public place.

Questions to get started with
Here’s a few icebreakers that you’ll want to use in your emails and phone calls with that other person: 1) What do you like to do on your weekends? 2) Do you like to go out a lot, or stay home? 3) What do you like best about someone you’re dating? 4) When you eat out, where do you like to go?

Ask them upfront:

After a few emails and a couple of phone calls, you may be ready to meet them in person. It’s up to the both of you. If they are evasive or hesitant to meet, ask them why. It may be simply that they’re shy. As long as you can phone them without problems, that may be fine, but, also look for red flags.

You may want to ask them upfront, how they’d like to go about this, to see what their ideas are. After talking on the phone a few times, you should know whether or not you’d like to meet. Make plans, in a safe public place. Then, have fun meeting them at a local restaurant or mall.

Being ready for romance:

Getting started in a new romance is both thrilling and a time of great uncertainty. Myself, I like to plan on finding a man who’s both a friend and someone I’m attracted to. Getting from a photo and description, to “first contact” by email, to a phone call and then meeting in person, is lots of fun. Being ready to meet someone also means you may need to juggle your schedule a bit - as dates take up time, when you’re having fun on the town with that new person in your life!

How Often Should I email or call them? On the one hand, you don’t want to seem overly desperate. Then again, you don’t want them to think you’re not interested. Finding a middle ground depends on what each person feels comfortable with. Remember, one person may want to send emails twice a week, another, every day. Each person expresses themselves differently, and works on a different schedule. Part of becoming a good dating partner is finding out who you’re compatible with, and adjusting your style to fit the other person’s.

Getting emails:

It’s can be disappointing if an email isn’t returned within 24 hours. It also looks over-eager if emails are returned within 2-3 hours. So, find a middle ground. Same with phone calls - always return calls within 24 hours, but don’t call back immediately, unless you’re on familiar ground with that special person you’re talking with.

Kathleen Bass is a professional speaker, facilitator and workshop coordinator, specializing in relationships and personality types. For more relationship advice or to contact Kathleen visit http://www.SpeakingAboutYou.com today.

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Dating manuals thick as telephone directories can be written on the subject of selecting the right dating partner. The key to the selection process is not to focus on our potential dating partner, but to focus on our ingrained human instincts. What are these human instincts? Imagination and desire are our enemies!

As we approach dating relationships from our own point of view, many individuals fall short in reaching their goals. There are countless reasons why most individuals finish in last place when commencing to build healthy dating relationships. Imagination and desire will cripple a dating relationship before the relationship starts, and before you know it, you are right back at the starting gate with a new dating partner or wish you were!

Beginning the dating process, we often focus on what we want in our dating partner and not his/her present composition. Captive is our rational self by our imagination and blinded by desire. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos, profiles or personal ads online - we immediately enter an imaginary world, especially if he/she is physically attractive. It is our own little world constructed by our imagination; at this point, we lose all sense of reality. Reality is what exists now and imagination is what we want to exist, which is the total opposite. Our reliant on our intoxicated senses, intoxicated by imagination and desire leads us into total darkness. As a result, our objectivity fades away into the background.

This unreal portrayal depicts a fictional fairytale hero that originates from the desire to realize the storybook romance. On the surface, the storybook romance syndrome appears to be harmless. When individuals attempt to convert their imagination into a dating reality, total destruction visits the dating relationship, leaving the residue of psychological devastation behind. The storybook romance syndrome has defaced the truth about dating relationships, retarding them from ever having a chance of realizing success.

To achieve a blissful dating relationship with the hope of achieving a long lasting marriage, you must not select a dating partner based on your imagination. You must remain focused on reality; you must also focus on objectivity and not subjectivity. In the absence of an objective criteria to resort to in selecting your dating partner; your only alternative is to turn to a sincere, trusted family member or friend for help in the selection process. They will be more incline to exercise an objective approach. Remember this, when you are in the picture, you can’t see the picture! Investigate patiently your potential dating partner and never rely on your own senses, you may finish first in the race to a healthy dating relationship. Good Luck!

Naim A Samad is your host at http://www.singleskaters.com Naim A Samad is also the author of “Don’t Leave Home Without It”. http://www.singleskaters.com/online_dating_featured_book.htm The newly release book is the author’s field leveling, investigative masterpiece that arms readers with an information arsenal designed to help them avoid all forms of manipulation. Take an online survey at http://www.singleskaters.com/survey/index.php?sid=2.

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I call it “The Funnel.” And it’s the best way to view your online dating experience. A numbers game it is, and your job is to funnel your way through prospects until you find what you’re looking for.

Stage 1 of the Funnel: On most dating sites, there’s a database of users and you have the ability to search through those users with any given set of criteria such as age, geography and the like. Upon running a search, you will scan the results to find profiles that compel you. If you’re wise you’ll read through their entire profile, trying to get the best sense of who this person is and ultimately, if you might be a good fit for them. Don’t be guilty of basing your judgment on photos alone. While photos are useful reference points, the rest of the profile can offer great insight into the person that a photo alone could never do.

Stage 2 of the Funnel: Once you find profiles that fit your taste, you will write a persuasive initial email to solicit their interest, and hopefully, a timely response. In some cases you will get the desired response, in many other cases you will hear nothing but the sound of crickets on the lawn. Don’t fret, it’s par for the course. The modus operandi of internet daters is to simply not respond to an email if they are not interested or otherwise unavailable. Do not expect an explanation from them, and don’t ever take it personally. I’ve researched and counted over 79 reasons for people not to respond to such emails, and over half of them have nothing to do with you at all!

Stage 3 of the Funnel: Then there are those who do respond, and an email conversation ensues. Be creative, be curious, but most of all, be real. Your objective is to get to know each other better and determine if you should move to Stage Four. There will be times where your email communication with this person ceases either due to your lack of interest or time, or theirs. It is a natural culling process and not all candidates will move on through The Funnel.

Stage 4 of the Funnel: If you’re hitting it off in email and are comfortable, you will want to suggest a phone conversation. I recommend that within a few emails back and forth, you offer up your phone number. Once again, sometimes you’ll hit it off and sometimes not. Having a chance to hear someone’s voice and speak with them on the phone provides lots more insight into who you’re dealing with. And you can determine whether there’s chemistry between you!

Stage 5 of the Funnel: If you’ve got chemistry, you’ll probably want to setup a meeting! I always suggest to my clients that you agree to meet for coffee in a public place for a short (1 hour) date. This is the safest way to take it to the next level and explore your chemistry and compatibility. If it’s smooth sailing, you can extend it. If it’s not quite what you were hoping hey, it’s only an hour. Remember to keep expectations at a minimum and standards high. This is another number game, and it should be tons of fun in the process.

To read other articles on dating visit http://nydating.blogspot.com/ For online personals and to talk to a relationship expert visit http://www.metrochai.com

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